sacredness of sex

Tantric sex, for many people, means sex with an awareness of the sacredness of the sexual act. Sadly, in many sexual relationships, the sacredness of sex is not honoured. In fact, this goes not just for sex, but for everything we do. We can do it with that awareness, for example, we can eat food with an awareness of the sacredness of it, or we can eat the same food without that awareness. And what is that awareness, that sacredness?

For me, that word sacred brings up a feeling of mystery and of interconnectedness. It reminds me that there are things that I do not know, and cannot know. It reminds me to appreciate the moment fully. It reminds me to have a deep respect. And sadly, in our intimate relationships, respect is not always there. Indeed, those that we are closest to are often the people that we become lazy with. We start to behave from habit, rather mindlessly, and we all too easily forget that respect that is the basis of communion between human beings. And without respect, sex may still be pleasurable in a physical way, but it will not bring a sense of communion. There will be no feeling of merging.

So for many, tantric sex incorporates this deep respect for the other, and some tantric rituals are designed to reinforce this, to remind us of the sacredness of sex, and of the respect for the other. For example, a man may use a ritual to respect and worship the feminine sex in his partner, to treat that female sexuality as something divine, which it is of course. And likewise, a woman may use a ritual to worship the divine in the male sexuality.

Bringing this respect into the sexual interaction goes much deeper than the individuals involved. For between men and women, there’s a huge field of anger beneath the surface – it’s in the mass consciousness. It drives feminism and in men it arises as a misogyny. We humans are doomed to much anguish until we can heal this great rift between men and women. And tantra, tantric practices, can help with this by reminding us of the divine nature of both female and male sexual energy, and of the sexual act itself. With this level of appreciation and respect, that rift between men and women will begin to heal.